i’m almost done w/ hill harper’s book—one of the few books i’ve enjoyed in a long time. so, i’ve been thinking a lot about love/relationships lately.
i think a lot of people, myself included, want to be in a relationship because love is such a life-affirming thing. nothing really beats one kick ass person making you feel like you’re amazing no matter what. sounds selfish but…it’s true. but, while reading the book, i’ve come to realize that it’s easy to get caught up in that part of relationships and forget about the other part—your commitment to someone’s life.
relationships are really about selflessness, devoting your time and energy to another person’s well-being. of course, you expect the same in return but that’s still quite a bit of work. in the beginning, it’s fun and hot and new. but more and more, you invest in someone’s highs and lows, their history and their future, their ambitions and their insecurities. i believe when the right person makes you want to be that selfless, it’ll be natural. but i think you also have to be ready. sometimes i think i’ve gotten so accustomed to my routines, being alone, and doing whatever the hell i want all the time, that giving my energy, time and space to another person will be super hard. and…it will. but, the right person will make it worth it.
natalieraquel: But, I Don't Want To Mess Up My Hair! Surgeon general: Hair shouldn't keep you out of gym
This post is for all ladies, but specifically ladies who’s hair… well… let’s just say those who’s hair is high maintenance.
Women of African American descent are specifically addressed, because this seems to be a bigger factor in getting them in the gym than their white…
^i am one of the most high maintenance people when it comes to my hair. i once made a friend drive to stamp to get me when it was raining and i didn’t have an umbrella. yet, when it comes to the gym, i slap that joint in a ponytail and don’t think twice. just add a little leave in conditioner so the sweat doesn’t fuck your shit up.
(Source: CNN, via kissingfr0gs)
my favorite part of the day
right before bed. work’s over and so are my routine night activities…working out, cooking dinner and doing dishes, making lunch for the next day, straightening up, picking out my outfit for the next day, and showering. then, i just sit on my bed, usually exhausted, and browse tumblr and the like. no more obligations…just dumb shit standing in between me and those coveted zzzs. mmm. love it.
the holy shit moment.
i had that moment today when i realized in 3.5 weeks, i’m uprooting my entire life (again). as excited as i am, i’m also like whoa, 1800 miles is…a lot of miles. it still kind of feels unreal. wasn’t it just the end of november? didn’t i just find out this news? where did those 2 months in between go?
this program makes your life move at warp speed, professionally and personally. i feel like i was just hanging up pictures and picking out shower curtains when i moved here and in a few weeks, some movers are gonna come and pack all of my shit up, leaving me with 2 suitcases and a cat. new beginnings are just as intimidating as they are freeing; just as exciting as they are frightening. so for now, i’ll pause, pray, and appreciate the moment. it’s all i can do.
Valentine’s Day?
I just realized feb 14 is soon. i guess that’s valentine’s day. cept, i also realized i haven’t cared because feb 14 is 2 other things. First, it’s V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women. Second, it’s my going away luncheon at work.
These things are both way more important. :)
More Hill Harper wisdom
“Oxytocin is responsible for the feel-good feeling we all get when we cuddle or have an orgasm. But here is the trick: women’s bodies secrete oxytocin more often than men’s bodies do, and women have more receptors in their bodies for the hormone. This means that every act of affection or sex is more biologically significant to a woman. While the hormone may be active in a man’s body for up to three hours…the larger number of receptors in a woman’s body can keep the hormone active in her system for as long as three days.
…It’s important for men to be aware of this effect and to take responsibility for it. A woman is not stalking you simply because she expects you to call the next day. She wants to know that you respect the intimacy that the two of you shared, not to mention the fact that when a man and a woman have intercouse it is the woman that is bringing the man into her. A man’s body is not entered by the woman. That difference alone creates a different level of intimate interaction.”
I tried to pretend this wasn’t real in college…like I could hang w/ the dudes. But, part of being an adult is being honest with yourself, hence my decision to temporarily close for business. As my best friend always tells me…I have a vagina. It is what it is.
fracture.
“When outside forces are applied to bone it has the potential to fail. Fractures occur when bone cannot withstand those outside forces. Fracture, break, or crack all mean the same thing. One term is not better or worse than another. The integrity of the bone has been damaged and the bone structure fails and a fracture occurs.”
some people leave scars. others just break shit. shatter it until it’s unrecognizable. then you’re in a cast for as long as it takes before everything is as close to normal as it can be. it may never be what it was before. but that’s not always a bad thing.
The best relationship advice I’ve gotten to date…
“There are no victims, only volunteers.”
The Conversation by Hill Harper. Read it.
Right here, right now, you might be having a very difficult life. Lots of people are. But some people manage to find happiness no matter how bad the situation is. I believe we can choose to follow that path, to exist in that way.
—Hill Harper
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
